Finding the perfect Christmas gift for him or her can be a tricky task, so when that bolt of inspiration strikes, nothing should hold you back from getting the goods.
But what if that festive epiphany comes in the form of an item of clothing? How do you find out that special someone’s size without making it staggeringly obvious they’re about to receive your season’s greetings in fabric form? Check out our sneaky suggestions for giving Christmas gifts that fit:
You are… a woman wishing to find out another woman’s size.
Mention that common rumour that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16 (she was, but in ‘vintage sizes’, which are nothing like today’s sizes – but let’s leave this part out for now). This should be enough to spark a response – either of surprise or disbelief, which may well lead on to a spot of self-comparison, so be ready to take mental notes.
Another option is to ask to borrow a certain top that you’ve seen her wear recently. As you ask, tell her your size, thus giving her the opportunity to explain why you can’t borrow it (“it might be a bit big/a little too small”). If she simply lets you borrow it despite the fact she now knows full well it won’t fit – perhaps to save your blushes – at least you’ll have an item of her clothing to check out the label. Even if it is maddeningly small, or gives you curve-envy.
You are… a woman wishing to find out a man’s size
Say: “You men have it so easy: I wanted a top the other day but didn’t have time to try it on, and I’m between sizes so I had to buy both. You can just go in, grab a small, medium or large and it’ll fit. I mean, have you ever found a – hang on, what size are you?” Overloading him with information first will lull him into that zombie-like state some men assume when women talk about clothes, so he’ll give his input (telling you his size) on autopilot. Be sure to carry on by saying: “That’s right, have you ever found a size [insert his newly-supplied size here] that doesn’t fit? No, I’m sure you haven’t…” so that he can drift safely back into Manbot world and forget you ever asked…
Tell him you heard a rumour that men’s waist measurements have a direct correlation to their projected lifespan. With a face full of concern for his health, whip out a tape measure and wrap it round him. He’ll either be flattered you are so concerned with his health, or worried for his life. If it’s the latter, quickly say that you made a mistake and it actually relates to how huggable he is, promptly engulfing his waist in a cuddle. This will sneakily mask your true motive, and earn you some points for cuteness. Win-win.
You are… a man wishing to find out a woman’s size
Practice your best vague pondering voice beforehand then, when the time’s right – perhaps with the TV as a distraction – tell her your waist measurement and say: “…so what size would that make me if I were a woman?” You may well get an odd look, but any woman who’s ever enjoyed the ‘Men Overheard’ sections in the back of magazines will be used to this kind of brain gurgle. A common response will be: “Well, I’m a size [ ] and my waist measures [ ] so …” Women are multi-lingual when it comes to sizes as jeans are often sold by waist measurements, so you’re on to a winner here.
Something to note: never ever turn the conversation into an open comparison of yours and her waist sizes, unless you are 100 per cent sure you are much larger. It cannot end well.
You are…a man wishing to find out another man’s size
Ask him. He’ll think it’s odd for two seconds, and then a car he wants will come round the corner in GTA. Simple.
Only joking, we know men are complex beings really. Why not try inviting him round to yours then discreetly checking the label on his coat in the hallway? Failing that, try asking his other half, but be sure to swear them to secrecy.